One of Them
by CallTheBaker
Summary: It's just an average busy day at the Maternity Home for Nurse Mount - until one of her patients Husband's recognises her from somewhere else...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - So this is my first foray into the world of Fanfiction. I hope you like it :)**

She'd not often been in this house. In fact she could count the occasions on one hand and only once had she ventured into it alone and even then it was merely to drop off Doctor Turner's scarf which in his haste to get to his next call, had been left draped over a chair at Nonnatus House. Yet, here she was led under a blanket in the Turner's living room staring up at their ceiling basking in the still serenity of their home, her mind mulling over the day, replaying ever sour scene in her mind. She'd known the risks but that didn't do anything to ease Patsy's mind.

—

"We've a busy morning Nurse Mount." Shelagh's authoritative Scottish tone ripped through Patsy's mind as she entered the surgery. Patsy had always found there to be something comforting in the way the Doctor's wife could control an entire surgery as though it was the easiest thing in the world, "We've four Mothers in labour and that's without Dr Turner's morning surgery in an hour."

"What do you want me to do?" Patsy asked with a smile. She was secretly glad now that Nurse Crane had volunteered her to help the Turner's out - the red-headed nurse relished the fast paced, busy atmosphere and by any means, it always made the day go quicker.

"Take Mrs Hudson and Mrs Roberts. I'll take Mrs Mistry and Mrs Mackintosh and Doctor can flit between all four. We'll reassess just before surgery."

Thankfully for Patsy both Mrs Hudson and Mrs Roberts were old hands, delivering just ten minutes apart and shouting encouragement from behind their respective curtains. Soon, both Mothers were sat up chatting, each cradling their daughters. Patsy was astonished; they'd both just given birth and yet they appeared as fresh as when they had came in. It had taken her over half an hour to get them to consider rest and as they led down giggling and whispering she felt more like a Mother Hen than a midwife.

"Excellent work as always Nurse Mount."

She smiled wearily at Doctor Turner as she walked into the reception area of the surgery. She frowned as she noticed it empty, had she really been occupied all through morning surgery?

"I'm afraid you'll have missed lunch at Nonnatus." Shelagh said, "But you're more than welcome to join in with our lunch - albeit a late one."

"Oh I wouldn't want to-"

"It's fish and chips…" Patrick grinned cutting off Patsy's gentle refusal. In reality, food sounded amazing but she didn't want to impose on the married couple. She knew as well as anyone what it was like to have to curb desire and how special these small moments throughout a hard day could be.

"Patrick's been having withdrawals." Shelagh replied with a roll of her eyes. Patsy smirked, it must be lunch if Doctor Turner had become Patrick.

"I just think we deserve a treat." Patrick protested, a wide grin gracing his features, "Four babies within two hours is some good going. Nurse Mount, do you want some? I know an excellent chippy."

"Their profits went down considerably when he married me." Shelagh chipped in.

"Only if you don't mind."

"Of course not!"

"Let me give you some money."

"No, it's on me." Patrick insisted, "We couldn't have managed without you. It's my way of saying thank you. I won't be long."

As he dashed out the door, Patsy took a seat in the reception area, watching as Shelagh began to place all the files away. She glanced at her watch, her eyes wide as she noticed the time read three. How could it be three already? Shelagh appeared to be having similar thoughts.

"Time has certainly flown today." She commented, "How is everyone at Nonnatus? I've not been to see any of you recently outside of work, I've been feeling a little guilty about it."

"Nonsense! You're busy! Besides everyone is fine - although there are severe withdrawals." Patsy said seriously.

"Withdrawals?"

"From a certain Miss Turner" Patsy grinned, "If they could bottle Angela up, I do believe we'd have found ourselves the next miracle cure. Even Nurse Crane gets all gooey eyed when Angela enters the room."

"I fear she'll be using that charm to her advantage before we know it." Shelagh giggled just as the door to surgery opened to reveal Patrick cradling three paper packages. "That was quick dear."

"They were shutting - only just made it in time. Now, let's eat these before my evening rounds and before visiting hours start here."

—

Fish and chips devoured, Patsy offered to stay and undertake the checks on all the Mother's who had given birth before she left for a well-earned rest. As she gathered her clipboard she noticed Sister Julienne enter the surgery.

"Is Mrs Turner around?" The Sister asked.

"I believe she's patching young Freddy Smith up - he fell off his bike and Doctor Turner is off on his rounds." Patsy replied before dashing off. The proud Fathers were all due any minute and she wanted to try and get all the relevant tests done before they arrived to distract the Mothers and raise their blood pressure with all the excitement a new-born brings.

She worked swiftly but kindly, offering words of comfort to each Mother but only lingering for as long as she was required. Last on her list was Mrs Roberts who was gazing at the cot holding her little girl.

"She's perfect ain't she Nurse?"

"She certainly is. Is Mr Roberts due in?" Patsy asked as she began her tests.

"He better be. He's a taxi driver my Jim, you'd think that'd make him on time but he's always bloody late. Dunno how he makes a living I don't!"

Patsy smirked taking the woman's blood pressure. Tess Roberts was a brickhouse of a woman - black hair scraped back, face hardened by poverty and a manner which demanded respect but she was also one of the most kind-hearted women in the East End and Patsy had always found her pleasant to deal with despite her outward appearance. The two had shared a few laughs at Clinic and as Tess went into great detail about her oldest son's latest antics neither women noticed Mr Roberts being casually led into the room by Sister Julienne and Shelagh. It wasn't until he shouted that either noticed him.

"Hello gorgeous, let's see- What the bloody hell are you doing?" he asked Patsy, his face slowly turning beetroot.

"I'm the midwife assigned-"

"I got that bit but what's a woman like you tending to her for? How could you allow it?" He growled turning to face Sister Julienne who wore a blank expression.

"Jim calm down! Are you drunk again? I am sorry Nurse." Tess replied. "Jim pipe down!"

"No I won't pipe down and I'm not drunk. She's that way… she's one of them…"

"One of what?" Shelagh asked, totally unimpressed by the man's conduct or the fact every other Mother was now watching as though they were at a theatre.

"A queer." He spat.


	2. Chapter 2

Patsy felt the colour drain from her face. How could he possibly know? She and Delia had been so careful, god Delia, what if he knew about her too? She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, her voice lost. Her mind was whirling, her eyes unseeing, ears ringing as Sister Julienne explained the severity of his accusation.

"Aye I know the severity Sister. But I saw her, outside that club they all go to… what's it called… Gateways."

They'd only been twice. Twice!

"And I just don't reckon it's right Sister, I don't reckon it's right at all… a woman like her doing what she does, how do I know she wasn't enjoying seeing my Tessie's… no Sister, I don't reckon it's right."

"You saw her outside a club Mr Roberts!" Shelagh exclaimed suddenly coming to life, "That doesn't prove much - how do you know she wasn't just walking past, waiting for a taxi, how do you know she'd been in?"

"I don't need to know, cos I saw her kiss another of them and not just a peck on the cheek Mrs Turner…"

Patsy couldn't bear it any longer. Her hand flew to her mouth as she dashed out of the surgery past the waiting area and into Doctor Turner's office. She knew she should have stayed and defended herself or gone straight back to Nonnatus House but she couldn't. She couldn't bare the thought of the others seeing her like this, especially Delia, she couldn't see Delia, not now. No matter how much she wanted, no, needed her girlfriend now was not the time and any interaction between the pair could lead to Delia's reprimand as well. No, she had to face this alone. She could hear Sister Julienne promising to take action and she could hear Shelagh trying her best to placate both of them. It seemed like an eternity before she heard quick footsteps marching to the door of the office.

Shelagh was struggling to keep up with Sister Julienne. Rarely had she seen such anger from the older woman or such disgust. She tried in vain to slow her down, make her take a breath but it didn't work as she slammed open the door, Shelagh's heart broke as she spotted Patsy collapsed on the floor of her husband's office, bawling. It was so unlike the usually composed, strong willed woman she'd employed a few years prior. Shelagh made a move to hand Patsy a handkerchief but Sister Julienne blocked her path.

"Stand up Nurse Mount." Sister Julienne said, her voice cold and hard. "I said stand up."

Patsy wanted to scream and tell her to go away, she wanted to remind her that she hadn't taken a vow of obedience, that she still had free-will, but instead she scrambled to her feet, her eyes slowly rising to meet Sister Julienne's.

"Why were you there Nurse Mount?"

Patsy didn't answer. She couldn't answer. She couldn't find an excuse and, to her utter surprise, she didn't want to find one.

"I'll take your lack of answer as an affirmative you were in fact there." The Sister said, "Won't you defend yourself?"

"No." Patsy whispered, her voice hoarse. Her head was screaming at her to deny it and move on, that she'd survive any investigation, but her heart refused. She didn't have the strength to lie to the Nun's face and by any means, she was an awful liar. Keeping secrets and facades, that was easy, but to tell an outright lie wasn't in her nature.

"Sister-" Shelagh began.

"Didn't you care that you would bring shame upon the work we do here? Did you think about your patients, your work or your fellow nurses? Have you no respect for your home?"

"Of course I care." Patsy whispered, "I love my job and I'm good at it… but this, I can't help this."

"You understand the moral implications of what you are telling me? You understand that this not only affects your job but also your position at Nonnatus House." Sister Julienne asked.

"Yes and if you can just give me-" Patsy began but was cut off.

"I'm afraid you must leave with immediate affect Nurse Mount. What you have done is nothing short of dis-"

"That's enough Sister!" Shelagh shouted pushing past her and towards Patsy, "Be reasonable, you can't expect her to find new lodgings so quickly."

"As you know full well Mrs Turner, the Church has views on this sort of immorality and there are rules that everyone must live by."

"Stuff the rules." The younger Scottish woman replied, "Immoral or not, Nurse Mount is a human being in pain. Surely you can allow her one more night."

"No." Sister Julienne replied, "She's lucky I'm not calling the police."

With that, the Sister in Charge left, leaving a broken Patsy and a shocked Shelagh alone. As she left Patsy let out a guttural sob, falling into the smaller woman's arms as Shelagh held her friend close.

"I'm so sorry." Patsy croaked, "So, so sorry."

"Shush. Don't you apologise, not to me." Shelagh replied, her voice tinged with anger as she replied the scene with Sister Julienne in her mind. "Oh Patsy." She breathed.

"I should leave." Patsy said clearing her throat and standing up straight as she pushed herself away from Shelagh, "I've so much to do and-"

"Go where?" Shelagh challenged, grabbing back hold of Patsy's upper arms surprising the red-head with her strength.

"I don't know…" Patsy admitted.

"I do." Shelagh replied. "You can stay with us."

"I can't. You'll be implicated, the gossips-"

"There's already plenty of gossip surrounding myself and Patrick, Patsy. I'm not letting you just walk out of here with nowhere to go and in nothing but your uniform. Stay with us, we can only offer you a settee, but it'll help you to figure things out and I'll know you are safe."

"Aren't you disgusted? Worried about your children?" The red-headed nurse sniffed as her mind replayed the many slurs she'd heard against queers over the years. She'd gotten used to the notion that she was unnatural, despised and alone against the world. To find she had a friend, an unlikely friend, so close to home was hard for her to digest.

"No Patsy, I'm worried about you." Shelagh replied, "Now come on, I'm taking you home and then I'll collect your things from Nonnatus. Do you want me to pass any messages on?"

"Will you tell Trixie? And then will you… Shelagh I can't drag you into this."

"You can and you will. What do you want me to say to Delia?"

"Delia?"

"I've got eyes… albeit they aren't the best."

"Tell her to keep her cool and…" she paused, struggling, "tell her to stay away. I don't want her to be found out as well." Patsy sniffed as Shelagh nodded rubbing the taller woman's arm gently. As she made to move away, the red-headed nurse grabbed her hand, "Thank you Shelagh, really… I…" Patsy trailed off, the lump ever present in her throat growing. Shelagh simply nodded and led Patsy to her home.

—

Shelagh didn't even bother to knock upon the archaic wooden door of Nonnatus House. She didn't bother to seek out Sister Julienne and she certainly didn't bother when Fred asked what had her looking so fierce. She continued straight on to where she could hear Sister Julienne asking for everyone's attention.

"… and so Nurse Mount will no longer reside here or work for us."

"But Sister-" Barbara began as Trixie too began to protest. Both Nurses evidently having joined the dots seemed put out that their friend wouldn't even be returning for her possessions.

"There will be no buts, no ifs and no maybes." Sister Julienne stated finality. "I won't go in to any detail but Nurse Mount is guilty of conducting herself in a most immoral way and as I am sure you are all aware there are rules to our way of life. There will be no further discussion-"

"And no love or compassion shown…" Shelagh interrupted causing everyone sat at the table to turn around. The look on her face causing even Nurse Crane to sink into her seat.

"Mrs Turner-"

"Trixie, might you assist me?" Shelagh's authoritative tone cut over the Sister's and Trixie nodded jumping from the table as Sister Julienne's face turned a shade not to dissimilar to the beetroot that was sat in front of her.

"Nurse Franklin, unless you want me to reconsider your position here I suggest you sit down."

"I'm sorry Sister Julienne but I have not taken any vows."

With those words Trixie flounced off, her hand reaching for Shelagh's dragging her to the small cell she shared with Patsy. As soon as they were inside Trixie turned to the older woman.

"What's happened Shelagh?" Trixie asked, "Where's Patsy? Is she alright?"

"She's at my house, she's rather shaken. She's… she's been accused of… acts of a homosexual nature." Shelagh whispered, "And she didn't deny them."

"Oh… oh my." The usually composed blonde nurse lowered herself down onto her bed, "Delia." She whispered. "She's on shift until midnight."

"Delia…" Shelagh began cautiously, unsure as to whether Trixie was hinting that she too knew or at least suspected whom Patsy had been caught kissing.

"Well they're thick as thieves aren't they?" Trixie said breezily, trying to dispel any suggestion that Delia was involved. Although Shelagh seemed unfazed and in Trixie's mind, really rather accepting, she wasn't sure if the older woman had suspected Delia at all.

"We'll deal with Delia when the time comes, for now I need you to help me gather her things. Sister Julienne-"

"Is an utter beast!" Trixie declared, her anger catching up with her. "To throw a young woman out on the streets just because she's found love. Although, I am surprised Shelagh, at you…"

"Me?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but what with you being the ex-Sister Bernadette I would have expected you to side with Sister Julienne. I know you still have faith…" Trixie suggested as she found Pasty's suitcase and laid it carefully on the bed.

"I do." Shelagh conceded, "But if you read the Bible, nowhere in it's teachings does it explicitly state homosexuality is a sin. We have to look beyond the words written thousands of years ago Trixie and move forward with the times. The Bible ought to be our guide not our jailor." Shelagh paused a moment letting her words sink in as she began to fold Patsy's array of checked shirts neatly into the case. "Maybe before I was married I'd have had a different opinion… I was naive to such lifestyles but it's as Patrick always says we ought to live and let live."

Silence fell between the two women as they made quick work of packing up Patsy's belongings. Trixie moved to tear down the pictures stuck above her bed and paused, her hand halting. "I knew." She murmured. "Or at least, I suspected. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to implicate myself, now I feel rather selfish."

"Do you think Patsy would have wanted you to know?" Shelagh questioned gently.

"Maybe not, but if I'd known I could have been a better friend." Trixie sniffed, her voice breaking as she reached under the bed finding the memory box she knew her friend had hidden there and began to wrap it in one of her scarves. She knew how much it meant to her friend and was eager that everything should survive the journey.

"You can be her friend now." Shelagh promised, her hand reaching for her friends. "She needs you now more than ever."

"You're quite right. I'm coming back with you."

"Trixie…"

"No, I am. You can't possibly lug this all the way home alone."

"Sister Julienne…"

"Sister Julienne can Tom, Dick and Harry for all I care." The blonde spat, her tone one of utter finality which found Shelagh nodding. It was something she'd always found admiral in Trixie - her devotion and loyalty to her friends and her bravery.

"Very well." Shelagh sighed, "Come along."

As the two left the room they caught sight of Sister Julienne storming towards them. Trixie made to turn but Shelagh halted her with a light hand to her arm, turning to face her former superior and confidant. The Sister-In-Charge stopped in front of them, her face still thunderous as she glared at them.

"What Mrs Turner chooses to do I have no control over but Nurse Franklin if you leave this convent you too will be looking for alternative arrangements." The Sister warned, "I forbid any contact with the former Nurse Mount. I have a duty to protect you against-"

"Against what?" The blonde asked confidently, "Against open-mindedness?"

"Consider your position Nurse Franklin."

"I have and I shan't live like a prisoner. Besides, I don't believe it's quite healthy for Mrs Turner to be lugging these suitcases all alone." Trixie demanded crossing her fingers behind her back in the vain hope that Sister Julienne might concede a little to her obvious reference to Shelagh's previous TB. "Come along Mrs Turner…" Trixie turned to leave, her hand gripping the suitcase so tight her knuckles were white with the strain.

"She- Mrs Turner." Sister Juliennne called, "I'm surprised at you… It seems you have forgotten who you are."

"Or maybe you've just over-looked who I am." Shelagh snapped in retort before both Nurses took their leave. The Scottish woman swallowing down the tears that threatened her eyes - she was almost certain she'd just heard the last thread of connection with Sister Julienne snap.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Thank you for all those who have sent lovely, lovely reviews. This is my first time sharing my writing so it's really encouraging :)**

 **For those of you questioning Sister Julienne's motives, please stick with it, it will be explored and I'll explain at some point in a footnote where I got the idea for the perspective from.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

The office that usually provided such solace from the bustling house suddenly felt claustrophobic. Eyes shut, head bowed and fingers clutching the wooden cross that hung around her neck, Sister Julienne was trying her best to block out the unusual silence that had settled over her home. Usually, the Nurses would have their records playing by now, giggling and gossiping over all manner of things. But tonight it was silent and the hush of it all was deafening.

She'd retreated to her office not longer after her confrontation with Trixie and Shelagh citing to Sister Mary Cynthia as she passed her that she needed to pray, reflect and take care of some administration matters. She hadn't waited for a response and darted down the corridor as fast as she could. So far she'd been undisturbed and she was glad. She didn't want to face any of the others again. She didn't want to face anyone or anything - least of all her responsibilities. Never, in all her time as Sister-in-Charge had she wished the title belonged to someone else, but today she did. There was no one else though and so the burden of fulfilling 'expectations' fell heavily onto her shoulders. She had to do what she had to do regardless of any personal reservations.

Opening her eyes, the telephone caught her eye, and she swallowed thickly. She knew what she should do, no, what she _had_ to do but it didn't make it any easier. In five minutes, she thought to herself, I'll do it in five minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, Sister Julienne was still staring at the telephone.

—

Patsy watched as Angela and Timothy worked through a jigsaw together. Despite the fact Angela was probably more of a hindrance, the young boy seemed completely content to please his sister by fitting every piece he handed to her somewhere in the puzzle. Neither had questioned her presence in their home. Timothy had bid her a good afternoon and Angela had dived for her legs with a shrill of "Patty Pats."

The sound of the door clicking made her turn and she froze as she spotted Doctor Turner and she realised that he probably had absolutely no idea why on Earth she was here. He hadn't been there when the commotion had started and it's highly unlikely he'd have seen his wife. She sat up straighter as he entered trying her best to placate him with a smile that mustn't have reached her red-rimmed eyes as he frowned.

"Nurse Mount, are you quite alright?" He asked dropping his bag onto the floor.

"I-"

She was saved by the door opening and closing and she could hear at least two pairs of footsteps. She started as she spotted Shelagh and Trixie at the door. Relief flooding her as Trixie dropped her case and dashed towards her, pulling her into a hug as the usually composed red-head cried into her shoulder.

"Timothy, take your Sister upstairs please." Shelagh asked quietly. Timothy sensing now was not the time to argue left without argument, chattering away to his younger Sister as he went.

Patrick exchanged a glance with his wife, his eyes asking all the questions as he simply uttered her name. "Shelagh?"

"Patsy will be staying with us Patrick." She responded, firm and in what he'd taken to calling her 'Nurse Turner tone' "Now come and help me find some spare bedding."

He nodded, following his wife without argument as she led him directly past the linen cupboard and up the stairs into their room. She paused, closing the door behind her as he waited patiently. She turned slowly hoping he would be every bit as understanding as she believed him to be.

"Patsy can't stay at Nonnatus as… well…"

"Shelagh?" Patrick pressed. Shelagh sighed, suddenly wondering if it had been a good idea after all to invite Patsy to stay with them.

"She was spotted in a compromising position outside Gateways."

"Gateways?" He frowned trying to place where he'd heard the name before.

"A club where homosexual women frequent… she didn't deny it Patrick."

"Why?" He questioned, "It would have been his word against hers and she's a respected-"

"I think her reaction had given it away and- oh if you'd seen Sister Julienne." Her accent becoming thicker as she fumed, "There was just no compassion… none! I never would have thought that she could be so… so cruel and unforgiving. I know I should have asked you Patrick but I couldn't turn my back on a friend in need when her only crime is falling in love."

"And I wouldn't expect you to." He replied taking her hands and all the tension she'd been carrying, "That's why I married you because you do have compassion by the lorry-load. I've told you before my love, we must live and let live."

"And that Patrick is why I married you." She replied reaching up to kiss him chastely, "Thank you. Now come on, bedding."

"Yes Mrs Turner…"

—

"Oh Patsy!" Trixie whispered as she gently lowered her friend back onto the settee. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, I'm sorry…"

"I knew. Well, I suspected anyway and I should have told you. Should have been braver and protected you. Stood in arms. Been a good friend."

"You are a good friend." Patsy responded. "The best. My best friend. And I understand, truly. There were so many times I almost told you but I didn't want to put you in a compromising position."

Trixie kept a tight arm around Patsy as both fell into silence. As the Turner's re-entered with bedding both looked up awaiting the Doctor's reaction.

"You're welcome here for as long as you require Patsy." Patrick told her, "There'll be no judgement in these four walls."

"Thank you." Patsy whispered overwhelmed by the out-pouring of support.

"And you too Trixie." Shelagh added as she made her way to the kitchen, she peered through the hatch, "I hate to say it but I do believe Sister Julienne to be quite serious."

"Serious about what?" Patsy questioned sitting up straighter, "Trix?"

Trixie and Shelagh exchanged worried glances. "Well," Trixie began, "She forbid me from seeing you and threatened my position but some things are more important than keeping that old-"

"Trixie you can't risk-" Patsy exclaimed but to everyone's surprise it was Patrick who cut her off. He'd been quietly standing in the corner listening and processing the words.

"Patsy is right."

"Patrick?" Shelagh asked, her tone one of warning.

"Hear me out." He replied, "Whilst I disagree with Sister Julienne's opinions, she is the Sister-In-Charge of Nonnatus House and your superior. We need to employ a little damage limitation."

"Excuse me Doctor Turner but for whose sake?" Trixie shrilled, her Nurse Franklin voice of authority well and truly employed.

"Patsy's and anyone else who may be implicated." Patrick replied looking to his wife for support who nodded,

"I think what Patrick means is it might be rather helpful if for tonight you're at Nonnatus Trixie - in order to inform Delia when she returns off shift." Shelagh carefully negotiated. "The Great Silence will be in full flow so you'll be able to inform her before the morning and before Sister Julienne can. It might give her the much needed time to prepare herself."

Patsy who had sat quietly throughout the exchange in contemplation looked hopefully at her best friend. She knew that Delia's initial reaction would be one born of emotion and that the younger woman was quite the firecracker and unlikely to care about the consequences of her actions. She knew that she'd end up implicating herself and it wouldn't do for both of them to be in the same horrid position.

"Patsy?" Trixie asked placing her fate entirely into the red-head's hands.

"Would you? Could you bear it?" Patsy asked, "I know how she'll react and…" Patsy paused trying to gather her thoughts, "I couldn't bear for her to be put through this. She's so close to becoming a midwife too."

"Then I'll go back but I shan't stay there." Trixie responded, "Not after all this."

"I'll drive you." Patrick smiled making his way out of the room as Trixie gave Patsy a quick hug.

"Be strong sweetie."

 **A/N - Thank you for reading. I hope you've enjoyed it.**

 **I hope the first paragraph gives a little hint at where I'm going with the Sister Julienne thing for those who have mentioned her in reviews. I don't want to go into the details yet though as it might give some of the story away but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do or agree with because of higher powers which in turn alters the way in which we might do them… and that's all I'm going to say!**

 **I'll try post the next chapter soon once I've edited it.**


	4. Chapter 4

After wishing Doctor Turner good night Trixie had quietly tip-toed her way through the familiar passageways of the convent. She glanced briefly up at the board, happy to see it was Barbara who was on call followed by Nurse Crane and Sister Winifred. She cringed slightly. Sister Winifred had been out at a birth when the news of Patsy had been shared and the young nurse could only imagine what vile comments the woman would have to make about it all.

"Trixie?"

Trixie spun at the sound of Sister Mary Cynthia's voice, evidently just returning from a delivery herself.

"I wasn't aware you were on call." Trixie responded, unsure of what else to say. Her old friend turned nun had remained mute throughout Sister Julienne's announcement.

"It was Mrs Mackintosh." She replied, "Nurse Crane suggested I go seen as I'm the only one of us she trusts."

"Quite sensible."

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I'm… The Turner's are packed to the rafters." Trixie deflected unwilling to reveal her real motivation for lingering in the hall way so late at night. For the first time in a long time she felt awkward by her old friends presence, unsure of her beliefs. Back when she was Cynthia the woman before her had made few comments on homosexuality but had never seemed overly fussed by it. She certainly hadn't been disgusted by Tommy Ward, the Doctor she'd stepped out with during training to save his reputation. But Cynthia was no more, replaced by Sister Mary Cynthia - a woman governed by an ancient book.

"How is she?" The Sister asked quietly glancing around.

"Perfectly wretched." Trixie responded.

"I felt so awkward at dinner. Part of me wanted to chase after you and Mrs Turner and offer a few words but the other half of me was duty bound to remain at the table with my Sisters. It was the first time since joining the order that I felt any form of… longing."

"Cynthia, whilst I understand your position it might have been nice if you had spoken up." Trixie realised she sounded harsh but she still struggled to understand the shorter woman's decision sometimes "If you truly care how Patsy is might I suggest you go and see her tomorrow."

Cynthia nodded before walking past Trixie and off to sort her equipment out. Trixie sighed sitting on the old wooden chair by the phone and lit herself a cigarette. Now more than ever she felt a longing for the sweet burn of whisky but she knew that was not the answer and since admitting her alcoholism to Patsy, Trixie knew that the Titan haired midwife had ridded their room of any trace of the stuff. To search for it would prove fruitless and besides she needed to be strong. She wasn't entirely convinced that Sister Mary Cynthia would go and see Patsy - in fact, she'd place money on her not going - it seemed there was a difference between tolerance and outward support.

"Trix?"

Her reverie was broken by a whisper by the woman she'd been waiting for.

"Delia." Trixie responded standing up, "I've been waiting for you."

"Me?" Delia frowned, utterly confused.

"Might you come into my room sweetie?"

The tired Welsh Nurse nodded. The only thing she wanted to do right now was crawl into bed. She had hoped that a certain Ginger Nurse would have been sat waiting up for her but she supposed that Trixie must have something rather important to say to her seen as she'd sat up all night. As they entered the room Delia was immediately aware of the lack of her girlfriend's possessions and indeed the lack of her girlfriend - Pats had the night off - she'd been at the surgery all day.

"Where's Patsy - and her things?"

"Sweetie sit down." Trixie coaxed but the Welsh Nurse shook her head.

"No. Where is she?" Delia demanded, nausea rising alongside panic, "Trixie!"

"She's at The Turner's."

"The Turner's? But why on Earth would she be there? Trixie?!"

"You must promise not to fly off the handle. Patsy wants you to keep a level head and quite frankly so do I."

"Trixie, you're scaring me." Delia admitted, a hint of tremor settling into her usually bubbly chirp.

"Patsy has left Nonnatus House. She was accused of acts of a homosexual nature."

"What?"

"One of the Husband's is a taxi driver he… he spotted her outside Gateways in a compromising position I suppose you might say." Trixie explained, "Sister Julienne was an utter beast to her but Mrs Turner took her in. She's safe. She's alright. Delia? Do say something."

Delia stood staring at Trixie, her mouth agape, tears running down her face. The blonde Nurse slowly moved to embrace the younger Nurse but Delia moved away, her hand rising.

"I need… I need to think about this…"

"Delia…"

"I promise not to do anything rash, I just need a minute in my room."

And with that the Welsh woman fled leaving Trixie utterly at a loss.

—

Patrick smiled as his wife entered their bedroom, his dressing gown wrapped tight around her, as she sauntered towards him, shedding it on the floor just by the bed.

"You tell me off for that." He murmured as he opened an arm out for her, pressing a kiss to her temple as she settled beside him, her hand absently playing with a button on his top. They led together in silence for a few moments cherishing one another's company.

"We're so blessed Patrick." Shelagh whispered as he pressed yet another gentle kiss into her hair. "People once gossiped about us."

"Yes." He replied unsure of where she was going.

"Forbidden love." She murmured, "That's what they all called it and yet here we are… married, able to live together with no eyebrows raised, able to walk out hand in hand, dance a tango and a foxtrot, kiss, cuddle and enjoy every aspect of our love."

"Sweetheart - our love wasn't illegal."

"Who decided that love has to be between a man and a woman Patrick?"

"I don't know Shelagh. All I do know is that I don't believe it to be wrong. I've known plenty of… people that way… a cousin of mine. He lives with a gentleman friend. Bachelors to the outside world." Patrick sighed as she turned to face him, "All we can do is offer our support, our love and when the time comes help them celebrate."

"Celebrate? Do you think they'll decriminalise it?"

"There's already plenty of campaigners."

"I hope they do." Shelagh replied.

"A lot of the intolerance comes from ignorance." Patrick murmured, "People don't understand it."

"I didn't understand it."

"No." Patrick hummed, "I remember you being quite horrified by Mr Amos."

"Not horrified Patrick just as you so eloquently put it… ignorant." Shelagh smiled. "Do you think she'll be alright?"

"Patsy?" Patrick breathed, "I hope so. She's a brilliant Nurse."

"I wish we could do something. There's bound to be an investigation and well you know what most people will say - where there is smoke there is fire." Shelagh murmured, her hand running through her Husband's hair moving his floppy fringe out of his eyes before snuggling deeper into his chest. Patrick remained silent but his mind began to work - maybe there was something he could do.

—

Delia sat staring at the vase of flowers that sat atop her dresser. Her mind wandering back to the many times she and Patsy had sat in this very position. Laughing, giggling, happy. She could still remember Patsy's words the first night she'd moved into this room about how long she'd wanted to sit and look at some flowers. Patsy, Delia thought, her gorgeous, brave, hygiene obsessed Patsy. She'd always been the more cautious of the two - watching their steps, looking over her shoulder, keeping her voice low. At first Delia had found the tall nurse, then blonde, rather aloof and then she'd thought her closed off until one night they'd gotten tipsy together - the night her life changed forever. They'd kissed in a drunken haze for a giggle but it hadn't ended there and one kiss had turned into many. Delia giggled to herself as she remembered them trying to fight their feelings until eventually, they gave in to it and it was then she'd found and known true happiness. What it was to be loved. But that love, no matter how beautiful in their mind was not desirable to the wider world and now her cautious lover had been caught in the crossfire. It didn't seem fair - she'd been the risk taker and yet it was Patsy who was suffering. Her thoughts were interrupted by a quiet knock and Trixie entering.

"Hello. No objection to me barging in?" The blonde nurse asked quietly.

"No." Delia replied sitting up, brining her knees to her chest as Trixie lowered herself down onto the foot of her bed. "I wasn't expecting you to come - I was rather rude."

"I wanted to see how you were - besides shock is a funny thing."

"I'm alright."

"Delia."

Damn Trixie and that tone. Damn Trixie and her compassion. Damn Trixie and her innate ability to see right through the mask and uncover your emotions. Delia shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek, her face falling into the crook of Trixie's neck as the blonde gathered her into her arms.

"Cry." Trixie breathed into Delia's ear, "Then talk to me." She let Delia cry for a few moments before whispering, "I know."

"It's my fault Trixie." Delia hiccuped, "I was so bloody insistent about going to Gateways. Pats had been reluctant yet I pushed and pushed and pushed and she gave in. If it wasn't for me, if I'd just left it-"

"You went twice, surely if she hated it as much as you're making out she wouldn't have agreed to a second outing." Trixie gently suggested.

"She didn't hate it." Delia corrected, "And the second time she agreed quite readily… but she's always been so concerned with being careful. Whereas me? I'm reckless. It should have been me being caught."

"Don't say that sweetie. Look, I know it probably doesn't seem like it but everything will work out." Trixie promised, "Try and look for the good in this…"

"What good?"

"Well, you're both loved and supported. You have friends who know and love and accept you regardless. You have allies Delia. The Turners, Sister Mary Cynthia isn't intolerant, me." Trixie promised, "And I can almost see Barbara now; utterly confused and no doubt asking numerous ridiculous questions over Sherbet lollies and coffee creams."

Delia laughed as she used her hanky to wipe her eyes. "I just hope the gossip dies down…"

"It will." Trixie promised. "Because in a few days there'll be a new drama and Patsy will be forgotten that's if it even gets around - although her not living at Nonnatus may raise some eyebrows. Still, I'm sure there's something we can do about that - but that is for tomorrow." Trixie smiled, "You get some rest. I'm heading to the Turner's first thing. Be ready for seven."

—

As all the other Nuns left the chapel, Sister Julienne remained stood stoically in her position. She wanted to spend a few moments alone to collect herself and try and find some inner peace. It felt as though a war was waging deep within her as the conflicts between how she felt and what she had to do battled for dominance. Outwardly, she was behaving in a way that people would expect her to - harsh, unforgiving, official - but that brick wall she'd built had cracks right the way through it. Doubt, regret and pain was setting in. She was glad when Nurse Crane had interrupted her this afternoon to tell her one of her patients was in labour - it had provided a temporary relief and distraction.

"Sister?"

She spun and noticed Sister Winifred. If she'd trusted her voice, she might have reprimanded her for speaking, but she didn't.

"Forgive me but are you alright?"

Sister Julienne nodded.

"Nurse Mount or Miss Mount has no right causing all this upset. I know it's affecting you Sister but you've done the right thing. It's a sin and you shouldn't feel guilty for-"

The older woman closed her eyes in an effort to block out Sister Winifred's rant. It should have made her feel better - someone else justifying her actions - but all it served to do was make her skin crawl, referring to Patsy as Miss Mount didn't seem quite right somehow. She took a deep breath as the younger woman paused for a moment, putting her mask back on and turning to her.

"I feel no guilt regarding Nurse Mount's departure Sister. I'm merely taking a few moments to organise my thoughts after a busy day."

As the younger Nun took her leave at her stony tone, Sister Julienne dropped to her knees and closed her eyes. If only what she'd just said was true…

 **A/N - Thanks again for all the reviews :)**

 **I'll try get the next chapter up soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

The first sensation she felt upon waking up was a dull ache in her back and neck - an unfortunate side effect to being far too tall for the settee she was currently led across - the second was the chill on her feet which were hanging over the edge of the arm, quite uncovered by the blanket. She glanced across the living room to the clock and noticed the time read six am. Patsy yawned tiredly before sitting up, startling as she spotted Shelagh sat quietly at the small table. It was obvious that the Doctor's wife was deep in prayer and Patsy had the courtesy to wait until she was finished.

"Good Morning Patsy." Shelagh murmured raising her head, "I hope you got some sleep."

"A little." Patsy smiled, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself.

"I'm going to make a start on the breakfast. I'd prepare yourself for the madness about to ensue. I also suggest using the bathroom to save yourself from the fight to be first."

Patsy smirked slightly, "I think I'll heed your advice. I should be out of your hair sooner rather than later."

"Patsy, that isn't what I meant." Shelagh began but the red-head shook her head.

"I know it isn't and you and Dr Turner have been most kind but I need to accept what's happened and move forward. I'm going to go look at getting myself some lodgings later today. I can't stay here indefinitely."

"You can stay here as long as you require… that's if your back can stand that settee."

"As charming as it is, it is on the short side when one is on the taller side."

"Tell me about it." Both women turned with matching smirks upon their faces as a dishevelled Patrick entered.

"I should get dressed." Patsy said standing and walking out of the room. She got the sense the couple wanted a few moments of peace before their children descended upon them but she couldn't help but overhear their conversation or the pang of pain as she was reminded of all the things she could never have.

"Good Morning Mrs Turner."

"Good Morning Dr Turner."

"It's been a while since I woke up without you by my side." He murmured, "I missed you."

"Patrick, how can you possibly miss me? You were asleep and I've only been down here."

"I miss you the minute you walk out of the room."

"Sweet-talker."

"I missed watching you finish your prayers, I missed the way your eyes open and turn towards me, I missed my morning kiss."

"Well, I'm sure we can rectify that last one."

Patsy tried desperately to block out their domesticity. What she'd give to live their live with Delia. To wake up with one another each day. To share a morning kiss each and every morning and a goodnight kiss each and every night. Suddenly, all of that seemed further away than ever before.

—

Trixie sighed as she took one last look in the mirror. Today was her day off and by rights she ought to have been having a well deserved lie in, yet here she was, dressed with pristine make up ready for breakfast. The blonde midwife had been unable to rest at all and after leaving Delia's room in the early hours, she'd tossed and turned all night. Whilst she didn't regret her words or actions the night before, she did wonder how serious Sister Julienne had been about her position at Nonnatus House. The older Nun, usually so understanding, had had no qualms in throwing Patsy out onto the street with nothing but the clothes on her back - what was to say she wouldn't treat her the same way?

A knock at the door broke her musings and she smiled as Barbara walked in. The younger Nurse was quiet, standing awkwardly her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find the words to talk to Trixie.

"Barbara?" Trixie asked, bored of waiting for the girl to finally speak up. She quickly picked up a note off her bed and folded it, tucking it away safely in her drawer.

"Is she really that way?" Barbara asked in a hurry, her voice quiet and unsure.

"Yes." The blonde midwife rolled her eyes before turning to Barbara.

"How?

"How?" Trixie repeated, "She just is."

"It's not because she was-"

"Because she was what Barbara?"

"In those camps?"

"No." Trixie growled, "Must you always be so naive Barbara?" Trixie knew she was being harsh and felt the slightest pang of guilt at the flash of hurt that spread across her friend's face.

"I just… I didn't know women could… well feel that way about other women. I knew men could and… Trixie I… I don't know what to think. Patsy is so lovely and she's been nothing but kind to me and I just… I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to do. The Church says homosexuality is a sin."

"Barbara I don't think the question is whether you agree with homosexuality or not, although to my mind there is no sin if no one is hurt, but whether or not you still wish to be friends with Patsy."

"But Tom-"

"Buggar Tom. This is about you Babs, not him. You said Patsy is lovely, that she had been nothing but kind to you since you arrived. Can you truly turn your back on her for feelings beyond her control?"

"But it's wrong - isn't it? Why would the Church say-"

"Mrs Turner hasn't turned her back on her has she?" Trixie asked relenting slightly. Barbara was after all a Vicar's daughter and going out with a clergyman. While the young woman was understanding, Trixie did realise she needed to process everything and her harshness was being counter-productive.

"No but what has that to do with it?"

"You know Shelagh used to be Sister Bernadette?"

"Of course but she isn't now!"

"But that faith doesn't just leave you. She's a devoted Christian who understands the workings and teachings of the Church in a way not even you do. Ask yourself this Babs, if Shelagh accepts Patsy, then why shouldn't we? Did the Bible not teach us to love?" The younger Nurse looked deep in thought and Trixie knew she was winning the battle. "Go see her Babs."

"I couldn't possibly-"

"Go see her and see she's still the same Patsy who held your hair back when you were being sick on your first night, the same Patsy who made up a story about green crisps to cover for you in the morning, the same Patsy who thinks thumping the television is a foolproof way of fixing the aerial. Now come along, we'll be late for breakfast."

—

Delia ignored the low rumble of her stomach as she trudged through the streets of Poplar. A part of her wished she hadn't skipped breakfast but at the time she hadn't been able to face neither the food nor the people around the table - she just wanted to see Patsy. She'd left a quick note for Trixie apologising for not waiting and then dashed out. Many of the residents offered her a nod and a smile, a few greeted her with 'Good Morning Nurse!' and some simply said 'Day Off?' - she answered each shortly but kindly wrapping her coat further around herself in the hope it would offer some invisibility.

"Nurse Busby!"

She looked up and noticed the ever taller Timothy Turner waving at her.

"Morning Tim."

"Mum told me to keep an eye out for you on my way for the bus." Timothy smiled jovially, his youth keeping him innocently in the dark, "She told me to tell you that she's got something that belongs to you… Did you leave something at clinic?"

"I… yes, my scarf." Delia caught herself quickly. Thank God for the Tuner's in all this she thought, and to Shelagh for giving her the opening to go over.

"Oh well, she's got it… Anyway I better dash… hopefully when I get home someone will finally tell me why Akela stayed with us last night."

"Oh…"

"Bye Nurse Busby!" Timothy shouted as he dashed for his bus. Delia let out a sigh, relieved that he'd seen his bus approaching and made a run for it. She wasn't sure she could have faced any more of his questions when she didn't know the answers for herself but now, as she faced the home of the Turners and knocked, she was about to find out.

—

The tension around the breakfast table at Nonnatus House that morning could have been cut with a knife. Nobody spoke - or at least if they did, they soon quietened down. Trixie was scowling into her porridge, pausing her eating periodically to shoot deathly stares at Sister Julienne. Barbara had attempted conversation three separate times but was now nibbling away at her toast, obviously uncomfortable with the atmosphere and deep in thought after her conversation with Trixie earlier. Both Sisters Mary Cynthia and Winifred had kept themselves to themselves although both for the very different reasons - even Sister Monica Joan was uncharacteristically quiet - her eyes falling often to the empty chairs of Patsy and Delia - a sad sigh escaping her lips. Nurse Crane was out attending a birth - it seemed she was keeping herself busy - unwilling to involve herself in the politics of the household.

Sister Julienne for her part had been eating the same piece of toast for a good five minutes - her mind elsewhere. She could feel Trixie's unforgiving eyes upon her and she could sense the tension around the table - and Delia's absence hadn't gone unnoticed either. Her eyes felt heavy and she could almost feeling the sagging below them - a result of a night of tossing and turning and questioning. As she forced the last bit of toast down, she sighed, applying her armour and looking up with a confidence she almost certainly didn't feel.

"Nurse Franklin. I'd appreciate it if you would come and see me in my office this morning."

"It's my day off." Trixie replied. Sister Julienne was reminded of when she and Trixie had had words about her Keep-Fit class but this was much more serious and there was, for all of them, much more at stake.

"It's not optional Nurse Franklin. I want to see you in my office."

"I'm going to see Patsy." Defiant and loyal - as always.

"My office Nurse Franklin - in five minutes." Sister Julienne barked before leaving - she needed those five minutes to prepare herself.

—

Delia waited nervously on the Turner's doorstep, relieved when it was Shelagh who answered the door and not anyone else. She smiled nervously at the older woman - suddenly feeling exposed.

"Hello Delia." Shelagh smiled as she opened the door and welcomed the Welsh Nurse in. "Did Timothy run into you?"

"Yes. Thank you for giving me the opening to come over Mrs Turner." Delia smiled, she halted in the hallway, not quite ready to face the red-head she loved so much. "How is she?" She asked quietly.

"I… I don't know." Shelagh replied honestly fiddling with the belt of her uniform, "She seems so unflappable, almost cold to it all but… I think she's struggling… I think…" The older midwife paused for a moment before taking Delia's hand, "I think she needs you. I need to get off but make yourself at home."

Delia watched as the Scot dashed off. Taking one deep breath she walked steadily forward until she was stood in the doorway of the Turner's front room. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she watched her love, only just visible through the kitchen hatch, washing dishes with her head bowed. Delia walked further into the room - the need to hold Patsy all consuming.

"Pats?"

 **A/N - Apologies if this seems a bit like a filler. I want to try and show as many of the inhabitants reacting to Patsy's outing as possible and follow through with their coming to terms with it. Thanks for all the reviews - they spur me on immensely! I'll try and post the next chapter soon where I promise Patsy and Delia will finally see each other properly! x**


	6. Chapter 6

The red-head turned tears already falling as she dropped the plate, forgotten, into the water. Patsy didn't even dry her hands as she galloped towards Delia, collapsing into her as Delia pulled her closer and closer, gripping to the red-heads back as she buried her face in her clavicle.

"Delia…" Patsy gasped through sobs. "Oh Delia."

"Sssh Pats. You're alright, you're alright." The welshwoman soothed pressing kisses into her lover's titan tresses as if to punctuate each statement. "We're alright."

"I'm so sorry." Pats murmured. Delia sighed, pushing Patsy slightly away in order to move them down onto the settee.

"What happened cariad?" She asked as Patsy sunk into her, her head resting the crook of the Welsh woman's neck, her hand playing with Delia's.

"Mr Roberts saw us. I don't think he knows who you are but well, I don't suppose there's many people with my height, build or hair colour. He accused me and I know I should have denied it but I couldn't. I was so tired of the facade." Patsy sighed, "I know you think I cope well-"

"Pats."

"But I wasn't dealing, not anymore. Sister Julienne was horrible. I'm just so thankful Shelagh was there."

They sat in silence for a few more moments - hands entwined - before Delia slowly lifted one hand to wipe away the tracks the tears had left on Patsy's face. She smiled as she saw the other woman's eyes close as she leant into her hand. Delia sighed, knowing that more difficult conversation would have to follow, but that could wait she decided, as she dipped her head and pressed her lips lovingly to Patsy's.

"I love you." Delia whispered as she pulled away tucking a stray strand of hair lovingly behind Patsy's ear.

"I'm the same." Came Patsy's strangled but strangely reassuring response. At first Delia had found it infuriating that the older woman couldn't simply say three words but now she understood that this, this was Patsy's way. That wasn't to say Patsy never said those three words because she did, but somehow this felt more intimate, it was theirs and it was familiar. Suddenly, despite everything, Delia had the feeling that everything was going to be alright.

—

"Mrs Turner… or Nurse Turner…"

Shelagh turned to see Tess Roberts beckoning her over. Truth be told, Shelagh had been avoiding the woman, unsure how best to approach her and in another way unwilling to engage in any conversation about the events that had occurred the day before. None of them knew where they stood and with the jury still out on Patsy's future she wasn't entirely sure a conversation with Mrs Roberts wouldn't jeopardise that.

"Yes Mrs Roberts?"

"Where's Nurse Mount?"

"She's off today." Shelagh replied cautiously.

"Off? Or sacked?" Tess responded, seeing the conflict on Shelagh's face she added, "Nurse Mount…" Tess paused, "Nurse Mount has been good to me Mrs Turner. She's delivered two of my nippers and I couldn't have done it without her. No offence to any of the rest of you but she's just the no nonsense kind of girl I need. There's not many folk who can keep in check let me tell you." Shelagh allowed herself to smirk, that was true, "And I can't abide by the fact that my stupid bloody block head of a fella has had her lose her job. I've told him he's to keep his trap shut and let the Nurses get on… without Nurse Mount I wouldn't have been here… she got me to hospital on time with my Millie and saved us both and I believe I owe her a great deal."

"I probably shouldn't divulge such information but I'm afraid Nurse Mount is employed through Nonnatus. It is the Sisters who will decide her fate… I assume they will investigate but where morality is concerned…"

"Morality?" Tess spat, "What morality? All the poor beggar's done is fall in love and as far as I'm concerned she ain't hurting nobody. By all accounts she's helping people. It's not as if she's up and down flaunting it either is it Nurse? I'd get it if she wasn't discreet but… well I suppose what I'm saying is that I don't give a fiddlers if she has a girlfriend, a boyfriend or if she's in love with next door's cat… I just want my midwife back."

Shelagh nodded, taking the older woman's hand and squeezing it. Tess Roberts was the last person she'd expect to be compassionate towards people like Patsy and the way in which the Cockney had spoken so genuinely without reserve had caused a lump to rise in her throat. She briefly wondered if Patsy knew just how valued and loved she was not only by the Nurses but also by her patients.

"So you tell her from me Nurse, that I'm sorry." Tess continued, "And I'll make sure my Jim doesn't say another word. Man's a drunken fool anyway…"

"She'd be very touched to hear you speak so highly of her."

"I only speak the truth Nurse. Now, I've been craving a lemon puff all day… don't suppose you got any?"

—

Nurse Phyllis Crane had been around the block more than her fair share of times. She was old enough and in her mind, fortunate enough, to have met all types of people on her travels. She wasn't surprised or disgusted by the news regarding Nurse Mount. Truth be told, she'd had her suspicions when she'd been utterly devastated by Delia's return to Wales after the accident, but what Nurse Mount did in her private life was, to the older woman's mind just that, private.

She'd found the past few days difficult. Homosexuality was not something one talked about. It happened, of course it did, but any knowledge of such matters by a liberal such as she went unacknowledged. It served as protection on both fronts but Nurse Crane wasn't sure for how much longer she could keep her silence. She had some idea of Sister Julienne's position but that didn't excuse the way in which she had treated the young Nurses and her current attitude had left the older midwife feeling somewhat disconcerted. Nonnatus House currently offered no peace and so Phyllis had thrown herself into her work in order to find it and to plan what she ought to do about her own future.

Decision made, she marched up the steps of Nonnatus House, first she would clean her equipment and then she would speak to Sister Julienne. Enough was enough. As she stormed through the house briskly she heard a commotion coming from the kitchen. Ears pricked she recognised the voices of Sister Winifred and Barbara and the source of the shouting, Sister Monica Joan. Phyllis sighed, it looked like her first job would be to sort out the older Nun instead.

—

Patrick yawned as he ran a hand through his fringe as he scanned the pages in front of him. He'd stuffed the sheets in the back of his drawer a few months back - his plans for expansion had been put on hold by the the whole Distaval scandal - now however, he wondered what ideas he and Shelagh had come up with and whether any of them could suddenly be helpful. His musings were broken when he was almost sure he caught a waft of deep fried matter…

"Fish and chips?" Shelagh grinned as she stepped through the door, "I figured we deserved a treat and with everything going on I completely forgot to pack our lunch."

"Things were rather different the last time we had fish and chips in the surgery."

"Quite. I wouldn't usually allow you to eat in here, your afternoon patients will be able to smell nothing but fish all afternoon, but I'll allow it to slide." Patrick smirked at his wife as she set his portion down. "What is that?"

"The plans we made for expansion…" Patrick admitted as he ate a chip lazily, "I wondered if now would be a good time to start."

"Patrick, I'm not sure… with everything going on…"

"That's why." Patrick stated cutting her off and forcing a page in her direction. She lifted it, reading it carefully only pausing to eat a chip every now and then, "I want to help her in the best way I can."

"Patrick… this… we weren't sure about this… it changes everything." Shelagh managed.

"Times are changing Shelagh. Our society is becoming more and more secular and women are changing the way they give birth… with the greatest of respect, I want my own midwifes who will run by my own rules."

"Patrick." Shelagh chastised. "I was once one of those Nuns."

"I know you were sweetheart and it's not that I want to totally pull away from Nonnatus. I don't. I just want to have midwifes and nurses who are on our wave length. I want Nurses who believe in the same schools of thought and are forward thinking. Recent times have shown us that the Sisters of Nonnatus aren't."

"Patrick, I think if you go through with this it will be the final straw for Sister Julienne." Shelagh conceded, "You have to be sure."

"I am sure. In this plan we state that we'd take on three midwifes or two midwifes and a nurse with one of those acting as Sister-In-Charge… almost like a Matron… someone who could efficiently run the place in our abscence. I would want that person to be Nurse Mount."

"She'd be perfect." Shelagh agreed warming to the idea. "But you do know that there's going to be an investigation? Even with Mrs Roberts' insistence that she doesn't want to pursue the matter, Sister Julienne will have filed for one. It's unlikely Patsy will get through that…"

"I don't think Sister Julienne has made that call." Patrick commented, "Because if she had, I'd have had the board on the phone and there'd have been an investigator here this morning. I think she's reluctant."

"Reluctant? Patrick have you heard our accounts of what happened?"

"Yes. I've also heard you say her reaction seemed out of character." He responded carefully, "Maybe her outward reaction doesn't match her true views. She's governed by vows and by the Church."

"But-"

"This could be a way out for her." Patrick added. Shelagh looked confused and so he continued, "If I'm right and Sister Julienne is struggling, this would allow Patsy to leave without the need for any investigation. She could simply hand in her notice. It would clear both of them."

Shelagh nodded, not entirely convinced but hopeful that his plan could work. "I assume you're putting that to Sister Julienne? And what of the other two positions - what's your plan for those?"

"Nurse Busby can finish her training with us." Patrick continued. "And then we could ask Nurse Franklin."

"That's poaching." Shelagh argued, "We can't take so many staff from Nonnatus."

"But we aren't - not if the staff already want to leave!" Patrick argued, "And let's face it. The three I've mentioned do want to leave."

"I think we need to speak to Patsy about this."

"Of course… does that mean you're warming up to the idea?" Patrick smirked taking a chunk of fish…

"Only if you let me have your peas."

—

Trixie was sat in Sister Julienne's the office. She was currently sitting on her anger, trying her best to remain polite as the Sister lectured her on the reputation of Nonnatus House. She was about to bite back and tell Sister Julienne exactly what she thought of her when the door to the office opened and a frantic looking Nurse Gilbert burst in.

"Nurse Gilbert! Have you every heard of knocking?"

"Yes Sister, sorry Sister but oh Sister you need to come! It's Sister Monica Joan…"

Sister Julienne swallowed, feeling she'd been saved from Trixie's response to her lecture by the interruption. She could feel Trixie behind her as she followed Barbara to the kitchen.

"Nurse Crane is trying to calm her down but she won't have any of it…"

The scene when she entered the kitchen was not a pleasant one but it was one that was becoming all too familiar. Sister Monica Joan was evidently distressed, wimple slightly off, cross on the table and hands shaking as she muttered, pacing up and down as she cried large tears. Nurse Crane was trying to calm her, speaking firmly but quietly to the Nun but it was of no use and Sister Winifred could only watch with horror.

"What seems to be the problem?" Sister Julienne asked as she entered, stopping Sister Monica Joan in her tracks by taking her hands. She was surprised when the elder woman snatched her hands away, eyes flashing fire as a long finger pointed at her.

"You send her away, with a slew of harsh words and yet you spend your night on your knees begging forgiveness."

"Sister-"

"The war within you has taken hold and you allow yourself to be governed by expectation instead of love and now there is no one here to help me."

"We can help you Sister if you just tell us what is the matter…" Sister Julienne inwardly cringed as she heard the emotion etching into her voice. She couldn't deny that Sister Monica Joan's words were affecting her or that they were inaccurate.

"I want Nurse Mount returned for it is she and only she who knows what I require. It is our secret."

"Maybe we could share your secret?" Barbara tried excitedly.

"No, for you do not have the required height nor the decorum for such a secret. Nurse Mount made me keep it somewhere hidden out of sight with a promise to always be here to reach and get it for me. Now you have sent her away and I can not reach."

"What is it you want to reach Sister?" Trixie tried, taking the Nun's hand. The elder woman seemed to calm at her touch.

"She did it for you… She may be brisk and her guard is strong but she loves with all her heart and has more compassion than others around us." Sister Monica Joan's smile turned to a frown as she glared at Sister Julienne who looked away. Trixie, realising that the Nun's presence was not helping looked to everyone in the room.

"Can you all leave us? I believe Sister Monica Joan and I will be just fine." She smiled calmly, happy to see the Nun calming slightly as everyone filed out. "Now, if Patsy wants to hide something from me I'm assuming it's alcoholic isn't it Sister?"

"She cares very much about you and your recovery."

Nurse Crane smiled as she left - confident in Trixie's abilities to calm Sister Monica Joan. She noticed Sister Julienne paused in the corridor, hands clutching her cross. She frowned, now was the perfect time for that chat.

"Sister Julienne might I have a word?"

What she wasn't expecting was for tears to be streaming down the Nun's face as she turned to her.

 **A/N - As always thank so much for your reviews!**

 **Hope you've enjoyed this slightly long chapter!**

 **Now to go back to being excited for tonight! I can't believe it's finally here! x**


	7. Chapter 7

Delia sighed as she pressed yet another kiss onto the crown of Patsy's head. They'd settled into a comfortable silence with Patsy leaning against Delia, arms clinging to the smaller woman's waist. Angela was sat on the floor in front of them, completely unfazed, as she attempted to build a hospital out of toy bricks. The task at hand evidently far more important to her than the two lovers' presence. Eventually, Patsy sat up, taking Delia's hands into her own and kissing each one gently.

"Thank you Deels." Patsy murmured.

"What for Cariad?"

"For being here, for being you."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." Delia promised running her thumb over Patsy's knuckles. Patsy simply smiled as she continued to stare at their joined hands. "What is it Pats?" Delia questioned sensing her girlfriend had something she wanted to say but wasn't sure how.

"Deels, I can't stay here forever."

"Of course not but there's plenty of lodgings."

"There are but there's not many that will want to take me in once this gets out, not around here anyway." Patsy said, her tone cold and harder than she intended. "I'm going to go look at lodgings up West and I'd like you to come with me." Delia gaped for a moment as her mind tried to process what Patsy was telling her. She struggled to listen as Patsy continued, "Of course, that'll have to be temporary too so… I think it's for the best if I move away."

"What?" Delia squeaked.

"Maybe Manchester." Patsy continued.

"Manchester?" Delia whispered, her voice tight. "But that's hours away!"

"That's the point Delia." Patsy sighed, "I can't stay in London, not once this gets out. I need to move away, it's the only way to protect us both."

"Are you…" Delia paused and collected herself, watching as Angela's tower fell before finally dragging her eyes back up to Patsy's, both sets of eyes were shining with tears as Delia asked a question she'd never imagined she'd ever have to ask, "Are you breaking up with me?"

—

Nurse Crane gently placed a cup of tea in front of Sister Julienne who half smiled in gratitude as the stern midwife sat in front of her.

"It's well sugared." Nurse Crane smiled before pausing, carefully considering her next words, "I had every intention of coming in here and telling you in no uncertain terms what I thought about your insensitive handling of the situation with Nurse Mount but I can see that would be a pointless course of action."

Sister Julienne bit her lip, nodding as she tried to keep her tears at bay. "It's so hard." She conceded.

"And that's why you haven't hang the board or the Mother House? You can't bring yourself to do it even though it's what you must do." Nurse Crane continued.

"I… How did…"

"If you had, investigators would have down on us like a fly to the muck, as it happens they aren't." Nurse Crane commented, matter of factly.

"I know everyone thinks I'm being harsh, and I am, but I have to be." Sister Julienne murmured, "I am the Sister in Charge of this house and I have taken a vow of obedience to the Church. It's important that I put my personal feelings to one side and take care of business."

"And the easiest way to do that is to put a face on it all… to act in a way you wouldn't usually."

"I have to voice the views of the Church."

"But what of your views Sister? What of your feelings?" Nurse Crane implored, hands firmly placed not the table in front of her.

"I'm not allowed…" Sister Julienne paused, "It's not about how I feel, it's about my responsibilities."

"But Sister, this isn't some general case, this is Patsy." Nurse Crane argued, "A woman whom you care a lot about."

"I do." Sister Julienne conceded, "I can't pretend to understand her inclinations, heavens, I wasn't even aware women could be so inclined but… I care for her a great deal. I care for all of our young Nurses a great deal… which makes the actions I must take harder still… Nurse Crane." Sister Julienne's voice broke as she her hands reached for the Nurses', eyes filled with tears, "I don't want to act in this way, I don't want to ruin Patsy's prospects and I don't want to see her leave but don't you see?" By now the Sister was allowing her tears to fall, "I don't have any other option…"

—

"No! No of course not!"

Patsy grabbed hold of Delia's hands squeezing them as the younger woman cried, her tears dropping onto their joined hands. Patsy gently removed one hand from their cluster and lifted it to Delia's chin, gently tilting it so their tearful eyes could meet.

"I never, ever want to be without you." Patsy murmured, "I've lost too much already."

"But Manchester Pats?" Delia cried, "That's two hundred miles away! How on Earth could we possibly still be together? It's hard enough as it is…"

"I know… but Deels, once you finish your training-"

"I'm not leaving London."

"Deels…"

"No Pats! I know you think that you're helping and I know you mean well but you're not. You moving hundreds of miles away to another city is not helping! You're acting like London is a tiny little village."

"And you're acting like it's a vast country!" Patsy refuted. "What do you think I'm going to do in London?"

"What do you think you're going to do in Manchester?" Delia spat angrily, "Nurse?"

Patsy physically recoiled at the sharp dig from her girlfriend. She dropped their joined hands and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, she knew if she opened her mouth now something poisonous would come out and they were already hurting enough without any amniosity between them.

"I'm sorry." Delia croaked through tears, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"This is hard enough Delia without us falling out." Patsy spoke softer now, "I don't want to lose you."

"Then stay…"

"I can't."

"Then go to Manchester." Delia's voice was flat as her eyes lifted to meet Patsy's.

"But?" Patsy asked, sensing a hidden but…

"But don't expect me to follow you." Delia hoarsely whispered, "It's not the answer."

Patsy broke down.

—

Trixie had eventually managed to placate Sister Monica Joan with cake and a promise to bring Patsy to see her as soon as possible - or if all else failed, a promise to take her to see Patsy. Whatever it was the two were hiding, the elderly Nun made it very clear that she had absolutely no intention of telling Trixie. It was a secret between the two of them and that was how it must remain.

After leaving a note on Barbara's bed, Trixie had decided to go and see how her best friend was faring. She knew Delia had already left and by any case she wasn't at breakfast and if she was honest with herself, the older midwife was glad. Sister Julienne had been even colder than usual and had made it perfectly clear that her threats from the night before stood. Trixie wondered if the old Nun actually believed the words she was saying or if she was just trying to keep a grip on her status within the Sisterhood but she'd decided not to question it. After their meeting this morning was cut short, Trixie had managed to avoid the Nun and thankfully made it out the door undetected. She sighed as she wandered down the busy streets - she didn't want to leave Poplar but she did want to leave Nonnatus House and that thought broke her heart.

 **A/N - I've had a really busy week and a terrible couple of days so I apologise for the angst. On the bright side… it's Call The Midwife day!**


	8. Chapter 8

Delia sat motionless for a few seconds. She'd expected Patsy to shout, to rage, to vent. She'd expected to see her react as she would to any other sting - a slight welling of tears, a hardened mouth and bitter eyes. What she hadn't expected was for Patsy to completely break down. She watched in equal parts horror and self-loathing as the usually elegant and composed woman she loved descended into a pool of depression. As Patsy closed in on herself rocking as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, her breath so laboured she couldn't draw it - Delia finally sprung to action.

"Shush Cariad…" Delia murmured grabbing Patsy's hand and drawing it up onto her chest, "Look at me… look at me Patsy. Patsy, look at me!" Patsy eventually raised tearful eyes, "Now breathe with me… in… out… in… out."

After a few moments Patsy's breathing evened out but tears still continued to fall and her eyes had dropped to the floor. Delia knew that she had to speak up - to somehow reassure Patsy to trust her, but she feared if she did the damage would go beyond repair. She didn't want to push her lover any further away than she already had by trying to convince her that moving to Manchester was not a good idea.

"So that's it?" Patsy asked quietly as she removed her hand from Delia's chest as though she'd been stung. "I'm just trying to protect you. To protect what we have."

"I know that Pats but Manchester is not the answer." Delia said carefully. She was beginning to sound like a broken bloody record but she knew, deep in her heart, that Patsy was rushing into this and making a mistake.

"I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth." Patsy whispered, voice cracking, "I thought you'd do the same for me." Patsy finally dared to look into Delia's eyes and the Welsh woman was shocked to see almost a malice to their shiny blue hue, "It seems I was mistaken. Maybe this is all for the best after all. Maybe we aren't as…" Patsy broke off for a moment before looking Delia even straighter in the eye, "Maybe you don't love me as much as I thought you did, as much as I love you and if we don't love each other enough, if we aren't the most important people in each other's lives then what's the point? What's the difference between loving you and living a normal, easy life with a man?"

Delia swallowed the gigantic lump in her throat, ignored the tears clouding the vision and the ones streaming down Patsy's face. She ignored the searing pain that final statement had brought and instead leaned forward and grabbed hold of Patsy's hands tight - tighter still when she tried to snatch them back.

"Pats. You are the most important person in my life." Delia began, "I didn't think it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you. Every time I look at you or think of you it feels like my heart it going to burst right through my chest and just when I think I couldn't love you anymore, that there isn't room in my heart for anymore love, somehow it grows. It grows and grows and that Patsy is why I won't follow you to Manchester." By now, Patsy was openly crying, "Because I know that that isn't right for you, I know it isn't the answer and the only thing I want in all of this is what's best for you."

"But being in Manchester would be best for me." Patsy murmured.

"No it wouldn't." Delia refuted gently, "You'd be lonely. You'd be away from everything you know. You'd be without me, without Trixie, without your friends. You'd revert back to that closed up, straight-laced, troubled girl I first met. I don't want that for you Pats. If I thought you were going for the right reasons we'd already be on our way."

"I'm sorry." Patsy breathed running her thumb over the knuckle of Delia's hand, "I just… I thought…"

Delia simply pulled Patsy into her arms and held her.

—

"There is always an option."

Phyllis Crane was about to continue her fight for Patsy when a knock, urgent sounding and hard, upon Sister Julienne's office door broke it off. Sister Julienne called for whoever it was to enter and both women were surprised to see none other than Patrick Turner enter and close the door firmly behind him.

"Sister Julienne, I'm not going to get into any sort of argument with you over Nurse Mount. I respect that you must follow the rules set out by the Church but I do wish to ask you a question." He continued before she could respond, "I know that your position means you need to report Nurse Mount for immoral conduct so that a formal investigation can take place - you should have made that phone call instantly but with the lack of investigators banging down my door am I right in assuming that you have not, as of yet, made that call?"

Sister Julienne swallowed before nodding, "What is the reason you ask Doctor?"

"I'm here to offer you a solution."

"I'm not sure there is one." Sister Julienne admitted, she realised that her facade was slipping and the sadness was no longer disguised. Nurse Crane had broken down the barriers within the room and she felt Dr Turner had seen right through her all along.

"I know you care for her Sister." Patrick said, "I know you want what's best for her and I know that you are governed by duty. I don't pretend to understand your devotion to the Church but I do understand your devotion to the midwives. Sister, I'm going to offer you a way out… you won't need to report Nurse Mount."

"Doctor, as much as I do not wish to make her life any harder there are rules that those at Nonnatus must live by and-"

"Not if they're aren't at Nonnatus."

"Sorry?" The Sister questioned.

Phyllis smiled realising where this was going.

"I've yet to run the idea past Nurse Mount." Patrick said, "But in order for the Maternity Home to survive long-term we need to expand and host our own midwives. I'd like to offer the position to Nurse Mount. If she accepts she could hand in her resignation and as such, she would no longer be of any concern to you. If anything was to come of it, it would sit firmly upon my shoulders."

Sister Julienne was stunned into silence as she tried to work her head around what had happened, it seemed far too good to be true.

"What a perfect solution." Phyllis spoke up, "Sister Julienne… this is a most suitable suggestion don't you agree?"

"I… Yes." She finally managed.

"You'll accept her resignation and that will be that?" Patrick asked.

"Yes. Once again we are in debt to you Doctor Turner." Sister Julienne smiled, "Please ask her to come and see me personally."

Patrick nodded before taking his leave. He sighed with relief as he walked back to his car - now he just had to tell Nurse Mount.

—

Trixie didn't bother to wait for an answer to her knock upon the Turner's door. She knew that all the Turner's would be out except for maybe Angela who would probably be thrilled to have all her favourite Auntie's there at once spoiling her. As she entered she saw Patsy and Delia spring apart and her heart broke.

"Please… don't part on my account." Trixie smiled. "I only came by to see how you were and to see this little horror." She grinned as she noticed Angela playing with her toys at Patsy and Delia's feet. The young girl squealed in delight as Trixie picked her up and tickled her belly. "You might have a visit from Barbara when she finishes her rounds." Trixie said as she sat down on one of the chairs. "She was rather confused by it all."

"Confused?"

"She's naive." Trixie supplied, "I don't think she quite understands the how or the why or the what…"

"I really can't face twenty questions Trix." Patsy grumbled. "I've got at least twenty of my own. Top of the list are 'where the bloody hell will I live?' and 'what the bloody hell will I do?'"

Delia tried her best not to have an outward reaction to Patsy's words. The turmoil of an hour previous still fresh and raw. It was maybe for that reason that she hadn't noticed Shelagh and Patrick walk in.

"I can answer one of them!" Patrick's voice boomed clearly.

All three women turned at the sound of the Turner's entering their flat. Angela began to squirm in Trixie's arms as she noticed Shelagh and was soon transferred to her Mother's arms. Trixie made to stand and make room for Patrick to sit down but he shook his head quite happy to stand.

"I won't be here long." He smiled, "But I do have a proposition for all three of you. I'm rather glad you're here Trixie."

"Me?"

"Shelagh and I have been looking at the Maternity Home and how it's run and what exactly it's future ambitions are. We drew up lots of plans last year and one of them was always deemed a little…" he paused, "too far." He decided upon as the three women looked at him expectantly. "The plan would see the Maternity Home employ three midwives of it's own. Midwives who worked to our model. How that would affect Nonnatus House is no longer clear and I suppose that was the biggest problem at the time but times are changing and we need to change with them. The Maternity Home needs to offer a modern alternative alongside modern attitudes if we are to provide an effective alternative to hospital births in the long run."

"What are you suggesting?" Delia asked quietly, unsure if she was jumping to conclusions too quickly. It all seemed far too good to be true.

"I'm suggesting that you three take those positions. Nurse Busby you can finish your training with us. Nurse Mount, we'd like it if you would take on a sort of Matronly, Sister in Charge type role. We know you like administration. Nurse Franklin, we can't think of a better senior midwife." Patrick finished.

"What I've done… it'll tarnish you." Patsy murmured.

"Actually it won't." Shelagh smiled. "Sister Julienne agrees with the plan and would accept your resignation with no further questions asked. Mrs Roberts also sends her apologies and ensures us of her Husband's silence. She's quite keen to have her favourite midwife back… she speaks very highly of you Patsy."

"I don't know why…"

"I do." Patrick smiled, "Because you're a brilliant Nurse and Midwife. You might not be able to continue working for Nonnatus House but you can continue serving the people of Poplar. Just think about it. I know you might want a fresh start but this offer will stand for as long as you need it."

"I don't need to think about it. I accept." Trixie grinned shaking Patrick's hand, "Thank you."

"As do I!" Delia said loudly, shocking Patsy. The Welshwoman ignored the very loud yet unspoken 'What?' from Patsy and shook the Doctor's hand. She crossed her fingers behind her back as she turned to her lover. She knew this was rather forcing the red-head's hand but Delia also knew that Patsy loved Poplar and that she genuinely cared for it's people.

"I… thank you… I just… you're too kind." Patsy stumbled, "But if you're sure then I accept."

"I'm positive… and now I'm delighted." Patrick beamed shaking Patsy's hand. "We're moving into exciting times ladies."

"Quite. Oh Lord, I'll have to write a letter of resignation. I've never written a letter of resignation in my life." Trixie drawled dramatically looking at Patsy expectantly.

"Don't look at me." The tall midwife smirked, "I'm useless. When I moved off male surgical to midwifery training it was all done after a painful conversation with the Matron."

Trixie rolled her eyes and then turned her attention to Shelagh who frowned slightly unsure of why Trixie would be looking to her.

"Shelagh, what did you write when you resigned as Sister Bernadette?"

"Trixie!" Patsy exclaimed, half in amusement and half in horror.

"What? It's a perfectly reasonable question?"

"I didn't write a letter of resignation Trixie, that's not really how leaving the order works." Shelagh smirked, elbowing Patrick as he struggled to keep his laughter under control. It didn't go unnoticed by the older woman that Delia was doing the exact same to Patsy whose complexion was beginning to match her hair as she attempted to maintain her composure.

"Oh Rats."

"Don't worry Trixie, I'll help you." Delia finally took pity on the blonde who was having an uncharacteristic blonde moment.

As Delia began to explain to Trixie about the intricacies of writing such a letter, Patsy stood and moved over to where Shelagh and Patrick were stood smiling down at Angela. The young girl squealed as Patsy approached reaching for her almost immediately. Shelagh laughed and handed the girl over who immediately began to play with Patsy's hair.

"I'm so easily replaced." Shelagh joked as Angela chattered away to herself.

"I'm surprised she's not fed up with the sight of me." Patsy smiled. Although she wouldn't admit it to anyone but Delia she doted on the youngest member of the Turner family and loved to spoil her. Angela of course took full advantage and when at Nonnatus would often seek out Patsy when she wanted an extra biscuit - not least because Patsy would lift her up high enough to get the secret biscuit tin down. Patsy sighed gently, "I don't want to cast a dampener on proceedings but won't there be an investigation?"

"I can't tell you for sure no - but Sister Julienne won't recommend one if you get your letter of resignation in before the end of the day." Shelagh admitted, "But with Mrs Roberts not keen to pursue the matter and all the other Mother's convinced he was mistaken, I doubt it would be worth it. Sister Julienne has asked that you go see her personally."

"I can't go back there."

"Patrick seems to think Sister Julienne has been struggling. Apparently her views are not as rigid or in line with the way in which she has treated you."

"Hmm…"

"Patsy." Shelagh murmured, a thought coming to her, "Have you sorted out the Cubs yet?"

"The Cubs…" Patsy breathed. She'd completely forgotten about them and more specifically hadn't paid any mind to how it might affect her voluntary work with them. "I…"

"You don't think Sister Julienne would jeopardise that?" Patrick frowned glancing at his wife catching onto the tail end of the conversation.

"Maybe not Sister Julienne no." Shelagh conceded. Although she barely recognised her former superior these days, she did know that even she wouldn't punish Patsy that much and besides if what Patrick said was anything to go by, Sister Julienne wasn't the monster she'd been portraying.

"Then who?"

"Sister Winifred." Patsy whispered.

 **A/N - Sorry for the slow update… this is longer to make up for it! Been so busy!**

 **Hope you enjoyed this! There's still plenty to come!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - I'm so sorry it's been so long. I've been so busy it's unreal. This chapter is short but sets up for the next few chapters.**

With their letters written, the girls decided that with so much to do and so little time to do it, they ought to make a start on their days. Delia sighed as she wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, they'd only been walking for a few moments but neither she, Trixie nor Patsy seemed to have any sense of direction.

"Where to first?"

"Well, I'd rather hoped to run a few errands but this letter feels rather heavy in my pocket." Trixie sighed, "The trouble is I'm not entirely convinced I'm ready to face her."

"Nonnatus and Sister Julienne can wait." Patsy murmured, "I need to find somewhere to live. I can't spend another night at the Turner's."

"But Pats, you need to get that letter in." Delia said carefully, knowing that if she pushed too hard Patsy would close in on herself.

"And I will, but finding accommodation even if it's just for the night is far more important. Which reminds me… until you graduate you have to live at Nonnatus." Patsy broke off, "Can you bear it?"

"It's only a couple of months." Delia responded brightly. Too brightly, evidently, as Patsy halted causing Trixie to turn too.

"Deels."

"Pats, there's no other option. I'm hardly there anyway."

"But-"

"Patsy." Delia snapped cutting her off. "There's no point in dwelling on something that can not be changed."

Trixie swallowed, "Ladies, let's not row in the street. Look, I need to run some errands, Patsy go find somewhere to stay for a few days then when you're ready come to Nonnatus House and sort everything out with Sister Julienne. We can talk afterwards - all of us. I have an idea." Satisfied Delia and Patsy were in agreeable she nodded, "Now, I need a new lipstick. See you this afternoon."

Patsy and Delia watched her walk off before turning to one another, both wearing sheepish smiles as they began to walk towards the bus stop. Patsy clenched the hand closest to Delia, the itch to reach out and take hold of her girlfriend's hand becoming unbearable. Everything felt so fragile and she wanted to reach out and grab hold of it all with both hands, hold it all together. She knew that they'd have to have a proper talk at some point - there were things that needed to be said - things that needed to be addressed but for now she just wanted to let Delia know how much she loved her. The need was sudden, overwhelming, intense.

"I'm going to book into a hotel." Patsy announced suddenly.

"A hotel?"

"In the city." Patsy decided, "Until we can work something out. We should hear Trixie out."

"Alright."

"I…" Patsy broke off as the bus arrived. Delia gave her a slight smile as they both began to board.

It was only as the only other person on the top deck got off that Patsy found the will to reach out and touch Delia's hand, slowly twining their fingers together, pulling her girlfriend's scarf to cover their joined hands between the seats. She felt a warm feeling rush over her as Delia, without turning her head, squeezed Patsy's hand, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Stay with me tonight." Patsy whispered.

"Pats?"

"I… This…"

Delia nodded squeezing her love's hand once more. An indication that she would. An indication that Patsy didn't have to spill her guts out on a bus. A part of her was slightly surprised at the sudden change in her girlfriend; Delia couldn't really find a word for it. Was it desperation? Need for Love? Want? Either way, she knew that this was obviously important to Patsy and after everything they'd been through, she wasn't going to let this go. She wasn't going to let anything come between them and she hoped, in Patsy's bold move, that she felt the same way.

Departing the bus, Patsy led them towards a large yet stylish hotel. It wasn't going to win any awards but it was big and busy and in turn offered a true anonymity. Delia held back slightly as they walked into the foyer. She noted a restaurant to the side and went to survey the menu as Patsy walked confidently up to the desk. Ten minutes later and after being shown to her room, Patsy returned, key in hand and smiled at Delia before gesturing for them to leave.

"I think it's time I faced Sister Julienne."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - So sorry it's been so long. Life has rather gotten in the way recently! Hope you enjoy. Patsy finally sees Sister Julienne.**

Patsy expected Nonnatus House to be quiet after lunch. She expected to walk in and sneak unseen into Sister Julienne's office and get everything over and done with without seeing anyone else. She'd expected it to be strange coming back to the one place she thought she'd been safe but as she entered to shrill of Sister Monica Joan and the exasperated voices of Sister Mary Cynthia, Babs and Trixie, she felt strangely calmed.

She walked towards the sound and was surprised to see most the Nonnatuns there. Sister Winifred was looking worriedly on as Sister Julienne tried almost painfully to calm the elder Nun. Everyone was trying bar Phyllis who wasn't anywhere to be seen. Patsy entered calmly and quietly, Delia just behind her.

"You said you would take me to her!" Sister Monica Joan cried to Trixie. "She needs to know how loved she is."

"There's no need Sister." Trixie smiled as she noticed Patsy who suddenly had everyone's eyes upon her.

Patsy almost fell over as Sister Monica Joan ran over to her and pulled the tall midwife into an embrace muttering away in verse which she could barely hear. What she did hear was 'our secret' and Patsy immediately knew what had the Nun so wound up. It was their routine and by rights, Patsy would have gotten down the offending item down yesterday for the Nun. She took Sister Monica Joan's hands instantly calming her.

"I'll get it for you Sister." Patsy murmured.

Everyone watched with varying degrees of interest as Patsy used her height to reach right up the very back of one of the cupboards to where there was an old air vent that was open. Patsy pulled down a box, dusting it off before handing it to Sister Monica Joan who clapped her hands gleefully.

"Chocolates?" Trixie frowned.

"Of the alcoholic variety." Patsy admitted quietly. "Very strong alcoholic variety." Patsy smirked. "God knows where she gets them from but I made her put them out of the way."

"Well that explains a lot." Barbara smirked thinking back to how many Wednesday evenings had seen Sister Monica Joan slightly more crazy than usual.

"Well, at least she's settled down. Although I'm not sure I quite agree with your indulging her." Sister Winifred snarked.

Patsy was silent. She knew better than to respond no matter how much she wanted to. The weird truth was, Patsy quite liked Sister Winifred. Sure, she was short-sighted and judged to easily but she was kind enough and usually meant well. It seemed sad that something she couldn't help would break their friendship apart.

"Nurse Mount, shall we go to my office?" Sister Julienne finally spoke, her eyes barely meeting Patsy's.

"Of course."

Patsy followed the older Nun dutifully, sparing a wry smile to Delia over her shoulder as she turned the corner. She swallowed as Sister Julienne held her office door open for her - a room she'd entered so often suddenly felt much too small as the door jammed into place. The Nun indicated for her to sit down and so Patsy did, hands clasped on her lap, bag by her side.

"I believe you have something for me?" Sister Julienne said quietly.

Patsy nodded and fumbled to retrieve the letter she'd written earlier, carefully placing it on the desk in front of her before returning her hands to her lap, screwing them tight together. She watched as her former superior opened it, read it and then placed it delicately back in the envelope. Neither woman spoke for a moment as the letter was set down.

"I…"

Sister Julienne stopped before she had even begun.

"Sister, do you accept my resignation?" Patsy murmured quietly. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might burst out of her chest, like a train exiting a long tunnel.

"Reluctantly." Sister Julienne finally met Patsy's eyes and the midwife was surprised to see tears in the elder woman's eyes. "Nurse Mount, Patsy, might I call you Patsy?"

"Of course."

"Patsy, I… I wanted to apologise for the way in which I treated you."

Of all the things she'd expected to hear, that was not one of them.

"I've always been comfortable with my role here - always relished the responsibility and the organisation. I enjoy looking out for you all, being in charge of such strong, capable, young women - it's not always easy but I enjoy it. Dealing with issues of morality is usually so easy. For most our young women are of the highest morals and those that aren't usually go vastly off the rails and make my termination of their services a given. It was therefore rather difficult to deal with an issue of morality that in my mind wasn't an issue at all."

Patsy remained silent, simply staring at the older Nun.

"But I don't have my own mind in this job Patsy. It isn't I who decides what is moral and what is not. The Church has rules, rules that all here must live by, and I must enforce them."

"I understand Sister…"

"I don't have anything against you personally Patsy and if I… the reason I treated you so awfully was because it was the only way I could do my job. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do and in order to do them we must hide behind a facade. It's cowardice and it's caused more harm than good but… what I'm trying to say Patsy is that I'm sorry."

"I understand what it is to put on a facade Sister." Patsy replied, "And in your position I imagine I would have done the same."

"I just kept thinking if only she'd deny it."

"I'm not dishonest by nature Sister and I won't apologise when directly questioned for who I am nor will I deny it." Gosh, that sounded braver than she had felt saying it.

"No, and that is why I'm so sorry to lose you. If things were different…"

"Sister, I can't pretend your actions and words didn't hurt because they did, but I understand why you had to do it and I forgive you." Patsy took Sister Julienne's hand that was resting on the table, "I forgive you and I believe you and I also thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For not reporting me instantly, for allowing me to move on and more importantly for your support and guidance. I've learnt more from you than I've ever learnt from anyone and I'll always cherish my time here at Nonnatus House."

—

Patsy left Sister Julienne's office with the elder Nun, both smiling and talking as though nothing had happened. Both Delia and Trixie frowned as the pair entered the kitchen, both wondering if they'd been transported to some other reality or had simply dreamt the past couple of days but as the pair split and Patsy sat down at the table, it became clear that whatever had happened in that office had cleared the air. Delia had resolved to ask Patsy later but Trixie, being Trixie, had jumped straight in and asked what had transpired.

"It's her job to condemn people like me Trixie, but it doesn't mean that's how she feels."

"That's no excuse! You should have given her what for and-"

"No, Trixie, that wouldn't have solved anything. Besides, I needed her to accept my resignation. Sister Julienne is a good woman, but she isn't a free one and aside from all of this she's been wonderful to me."

"You're more forgiving than I would be…" Trixie murmured.

"So it's sorted?" Delia asked quietly.

"Yes. She told me to visit sometimes." Patsy rolled her eyes as Trixie snorted, "And to keep in touch. Now I just need to find somewhere to live."

"Now that I can help with!" Trixie beamed, "I've decided we should get a flat."

"What?"

"Hear me out. We could get a two bedroom flat and rent it then when it's time for Delia to graduate and she can leave Nonnatus, she can move in with you. Plenty of girls share rooms. Look at us!"

"It's a good idea." Delia said softly, looking to Patsy.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes absolutely. As long as you don't mind me being there after. I don't want to act the gooseberry."

"No! Of course not." Patsy grinned, "And the way that new dentist looks at you…"

Trixie swiped at Patsy's arm as all three giggled.

"Right, I'm staying the evening at Auntie Blod's. She's not been feeling well apparently…" Delia announced as Sister Julienne re-entered the room, "I'm going to pack an overnight bag and then catch the bus. Pats, are you staying up West did you say?"

"Yes. I'll catch the bus with you." Patsy smirked, her eyes following the elder Nun as she left before flashing back to Delia who was grinning back, mirth dancing in her eyes.

"You're not fooling me." Trixie announced standing up, "Enjoy your evening. We'll meet up tomorrow lunch time and find a flat… gives me time to get rid of this ghastly letter too."

As Trixie left, Patsy glanced around quickly and after happily noticing the emptiness surrounding them leaned forward and pecked Delia's lips briefly.

"What was that for?"

"It's an incentive."

"An incentive?"

"To get your stuff so we can leave." Patsy smiled as she stood up.

Delia also stood up and signalled for Patsy to follow her. Once inside her room Delia began flinging items into a little overnight bag. She picked up a pair of pyjamas but Patsy halted her, gently taking them out of her hands and laying them back down the bed. Delia was about to protest when Patsy turned rooting in her drawers before issuing Delia with a replacement. A checked nightshirt that belonged to her. A checked nightshirt that had been left in Delia's room for emergencies. Delia nodded taking it and placing it in her bag before zipping it shut.

"Ready?" Patsy asked.

"Always."

 **A/N - I hope this goes some way to explain Sister Julienne's behaviour in earlier chapters. It all stemmed from a conversation I had with a superior of mine who is literally the loveliest person you'd ever want to meet. She told a story of how she'd once had to reprimand someone on 'moral grounds' as part of her managerial role. She didn't agree with the reprimand but had to do it in order to keep her job which she needed and so the only way she could do it was by putting a mask on. She didn't see that person after sacking them for ten years (by which point she'd changed jobs) and when she did she said the first thing she did was apologise. She then said the person she'd sacked gave her a hug and said she understood. So there's the inspiration and the story behind it!**

 **Hope you enjoyed! I'm now going to try and catch up on all the reviewing I need to do!**


	11. Chapter 11

After a quick stop at the Turner's to let them know she'd start work tomorrow afternoon, Patsy had quickly bungled Delia onto the bus. The pair had sat in a comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to speak. Even as they got off the bus, Patsy simply touched Delia's arm before standing up and leading the way. Once on the street, Delia linked the arm through Patsy's, happy when her bold move was not refuted.

"Are you hungry?" Patsy asked as they approached the hotel. "We could eat the in restaurant if you are?"

"I don't want to eat in the restaurant." Delia murmured back, "I want to spend tonight with you, no prying eyes, no interruptions. We have so much to talk about Pats…"

"I know." Patsy conceded, "That doesn't answer my question on whether or not you're hungry though?" She paused, considering, "There's a fish and chip shop around the corner. We could grab haddock, chips and marrowfat peas and sneak it in…"

Delia nodded with a warm smile, allowing Patsy to lead the way. She knew that this evening, no matter how lovely, would also be hard and she was glad that Patsy hadn't shied away from the suggestion of talking. It gave her hope, and she desperately needed that right now.

—

Trixie had been sat the kitchen table with Sister Monica Joan for half an hour. The elder Nun had decided after consuming all of her chocolates that she would listen to the radio and had asked the blonde-haired Nurse to sit with her. Trixie, not having the heart to decline, had sat down and quickly got lost in her thoughts. So lost that she didn't notice Sister Monica Joan leave and Phyllis Crane replace her.

"You look away with the fairies lass." The Northern woman said quietly, almost as though she was worried about making the younger midwife jump.

"I was just thinking about Patsy." Trixie admitted, "And my own future."

"Oh?"

"I've been offered a job elsewhere Phyllis and I want to take it." Trixie admitted, "But I've just been sat with Sister Monica Joan and it's made me realise that despite everything, there's people in Nonnatus that I love."

"Just because you're moving on, it doesn't mean you have to leave everyone behind." Phyllis offered, "How long have you been here Nurse Franklin?"

"Since I finished training." She admitted, "And the job is in Poplar…"

"I won't ask about the job but I will say this lass, sometimes it's good to get a change of scenery, a change of pace. To expand your horizons and spread your wings. I assume this job would be without accommodation?"

"Yes."

"And have you ever lived independently?"

"No." Trixie sighed.

"Then see it as an adventure." Phyllis said, "I don't want to see you leave Nonnatus, Trixie. But I do want to see you flourish and I'm not sure that will happen whilst you are here."

"You think I should do it then?"

"I think you should do what is best for you… we must always progress." Phyllis commanded.

"You'll still see me." Trixie smiled tightly, "I promise."

"I've not a doubt Nurse Franklin, and know, that no matter what happens or where you go, you'll always have my love and support."

—

Delia scrunched her newspaper up, throwing it with precise aim into the hotel bin, before leaning over and nicking one of Patsy's chips. The red-head smiled weakly, a far cry from her usual protest at such a gesture and Delia gently ran her hand down Patsy's arm.

"I know we need to talk." The midwife murmured quietly, placing her chips on the side, "But I don't know where to begin."

Delia felt her heart break. Truth be told, she didn't know where to begin either but she knew that she had to be the one to break the ice. It was at that moment that she realised just how disconnected she felt from Patsy. Dejected Pats felt distant and cold, and Delia needed that Pats to go, to be replaced by a more co-operative Pats. They needed to reconnect.

"Then let's not talk." Delia murmured, "Not yet."

"But Deels…" Patsy began.

"Lets instead, remind each other why we love one another, how much we love another, that we do indeed love one another. Let's reconnect."

Patsy gaped at her for a moment, obviously taking a moment to connect the dots and decide whether Delia's idea was a good one, but her earlier need and want for Delia won out. Within what felt like milliseconds, her lips were on Delia's, their hands both gripping onto one another desperate to touch and feel the other. Patsy sighed as she felt Delia's lips leave hers and trail down onto her neck and collarbone. All day she'd wanted to feel Delia, to somehow prove that she hadn't mean all that she'd said earlier, to show her that she did love her. That she believed in them. Patsy had expected awkward conversation, probably with her saying all the wrong things, but as always Delia had found a better way to go about things.

—

Later, bodies slick with sweat and chests heaving, the pair led together. Patsy was flat on her back, arms wrapped around Delia as the welshwoman rested her head on her lovers bare chest. They'd definitely reconnected - in every way possible. From slow, tender strokes of love and affection to urgent, needy passion, they'd explored every avenue until they were both spent.

Delia lifted herself up and gazed down at Patsy who brought her in to a gentle kiss, her hand tucking a stray strand of hair behind Delia's ear.

"Thank you." Patsy murmured, "For being you… and I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Sorry for what I said earlier… all of it." Patsy sighed, "I wasn't thinking clearly."

"I know." Delia replied, her fingers playing with a strand of Patsy's hair. "That comment about loving a man-"

"Was unforgivable." Patsy cut in. "And totally untrue. I only said it to hurt you, and I know I succeeded and I'm sorry. Please forgive me?"

"You don't need my forgiveness Pats."

"I do."

"Then you have it but I understand. The thing is, I don't want to just brush this under the carpet or make light of it. We need to talk about our future, where we go and what our argument this afternoon means for us." Delia sighed, "I don't intend to lose you Patsy, but you have to allow yourself to be loved and be secure in that love. I know you struggle with that but… you have to understand that everything I do, it's for you and your best interests. You need to understand that you can't just threaten to run away when everything goes to cock."

Patsy nodded, "I know. I know all of that. I just… I wanted to protect you. You haven't been accused of anything and I didn't want you to end up in the same position as me because of me. Gosh, that sounded awful but you know, this is awful Delia. This whole situation has been bloody awful and I never want you to go through that I've had to go through. I was trying to protect you. I just want you to understand that. It doesn't excuse my actions, of course it doesn't, but I hope it explains them. You're so close to becoming a midwife Deels and I don't want to and won't jeopardise that."

"You're not going to." Delia responded with equal vigour, "Unless you run off to Manchester."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Patsy whispered, "I don't care how we do it, where we live or what we do, as long as we're together that's all that matters. Throughout all of this, my biggest fear has been losing you. It's made me realise just how much I need you and I'm not going to take you for granted any more. Will you move out as soon as you finish?"

"Yes." Delia responded, "I'll be packed the week before. We'll get everything ready and I'll leave the day I graduate."

"Will you miss it?"

"Nonnatus? I dunno really."

"I will." Patsy admitted. "It's the only place I've ever truly felt at home and if you forget the past few days, it's been my home through the best days of my life."

"It's totally understandable." Delia reasoned, "But you have to look forward Pats and just because you're leaving Nonnatus House, it doesn't mean you have to leave the people there behind. One could argue you aren't, really. You'll still be working with them."

Patsy nodded but didn't respond. She felt Delia snuggle back down into her chest, obviously satisfied for the time being. The taller woman knew they probably had more to discuss. Everything felt like it had been brushed over but right now, this was what she needed, Delia's arms wrapped around her holding her so lovingly it made Patsy's heart skip whenever she thought about it. She could hear Delia's breathing getting deeper, her body growing heavier as it relaxed. The calm of the room seemed such a contrast to the emotional argument they'd had earlier. Truth be told, the argument had petrified Patsy, especially when the prospect of breaking up had reared it's head. That had never been discussed before, no matter how badly they'd argued, they'd never doubted that they'd still be together at the end of the day. A world without Delia in it wouldn't be worth living in. No, Patsy would not lose this woman beside her. She'd do anything to protect her and protect them. With that thought, Patsy tightened her grip on her girlfriend, pressed a kiss into her hair and closed her eyes.


End file.
